By Whitney Breer for HR Daily Advisor
Alicia, the Head of HR, leaned back in her chair and looked thoughtfully out her office window. She had just wrapped up another exit interview, the third this week. She thought about the old adage, “People don’t quit their jobs; they quit their managers.” “Well,” she thought, “if this is true, then ‘Houston, we have a problem!’” None of the employees who had quit had mentioned bullying, discrimination, or explicit conflicts in their team – the classic red flags that quickly drew attention. Alicia scanned back over her notes and began to cluster statements. After a while, she began to see patterns: “listens selectively at best,” “gives feedback readily but doesn’t take any,” “it’s a me-culture, not a we-culture,” “a no-gratitude attitude,” and “IQ yes – EQ no.”
The war for talent, the post-pandemic hybrid work environment, and Gen Z’s demands in the recruitment process were draining. Recruiting, onboarding, and retaining new talent would take months and a lot of money. Employees realize they have a choice: where they work, when they work, and to who they report. Alicia’s HR network in various industries was all reporting the same challenges. For those employees who chose to stay, many had turned to quiet quitting as a way to alleviate stress and frustration.
The Misconceptions of Humility
The scenario described above probably resonates with many readers. If it is true that people leave their managers and not their jobs, what leadership skills need to be built so that employees decide to not only stay but be engaged and thrive? Research shows that humility in a leader can go a long way. Granted, humility is often misconceived and falsely associated with showing weakness, downplaying or not using one’s strengths, or being self-deprecating. Instead, humility is about valuing and respecting others while realizing one’s own limitations. Leaders do not and cannot know everything. This is what they have a team for. So how can you help foster this awareness in your leadership team? Here is the approach that Alicia chose:
After calling in an external expert who served as a sparring partner and consultant, Alicia organized a Lunch-and-Learn Session. “Free food will attract the masses,” she thought and smiled to herself. Lunch was catered by a favorite deli, and dessert – apple pie – was brought in by a local mom-and-pop bakery. Over lunch, she went through some of the latest numbers and the recruitment efforts that were being made to fill the open job positions in various teams. When dessert was placed on the table, she stuck a small sign on the pie which read, “Have a slice of humble pie.” The managers looked at each rather puzzled and hesitated before digging in. “Go ahead, it’s safe!” she said a laughed. Jokes aside, Alicia and her team used the half hour to discuss the criticality of humility as a leader.
Five Ways to Practice Humility as a Leader
Humility doesn’t make a leader weaker. Instead, it fosters a relationship of respect and trust with team members. Humility can easily be shown in everyday interactions with employees. Here are five ways:
- Share credit and use a “we” language. This can be done, for example, in presentations by explicitly naming team members and their contributions. In addition, start name-dropping and positive gossiping about team members when they are not around. While you’re at it, gratitude for their contributions can go a long way.
- Admit mistakes and what you have learned from them. Talking about your own mistakes encourages others to do the same. It makes leaders human and contributes to a culture of psychological safety.
- Ask for feedback. Actively asking for feedback from fellow leaders and subordinates shows that you value others’ opinions and willingness to improve. This is a vital component of a Growth Mindset.
- Use a Listen-and-Ask approach. Instead of do-as-I-say style, start asking open questions and listening to what people say. Suspend judgment and show you value and appreciate other perspectives. It doesn’t mean you agree with them, but you can understand their point of view.
- Develop and foster the growth of your subordinates. Invest time and resources in the growth of your subordinates. Show you care about their professional development and not just your own. Continuous learning needs to be a priority for everyone, including the leader.
These approaches to showing humility are simple, learnable, and highly effective. Research shows that leaders who lead with humility build trust and collaboration in their teams, boost morale and psychological safety, and set a positive example. This leads to a work environment where people thrive and want to show up for work, thus, reducing turnover and saving immense amounts of resources. In Alicia’s case, she has decided to turn to bite-size skills sessions over a span of six months. These sessions will be supported by individual coaching for the leaders. In order to retain talent, change starts with leaders, which means building their leadership skills one piece of humble pie at a time.
